“The Most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.”
- Albert Einstein-


Monday, May 19, 2008

No Internet!

It has been a week since my last entry... Since Last Monday, when I was stuck at Denver and then Tuesday when I was stuck in LAX... It has been a rather eventful week that I have yet to find time to write and blog about, not to mention a means to post them up as my internet service at home in Malaysia has been cut by my mom who doesn't want to be paying RM60 a month for broadband internet nobody but the Chubby panda uses.
I am currently at a Cybercafe alone, at 1150pm. Just because I am paying for internet, and adding to the fact that I am not really in the mood to type much, I will make this real brief.
I just want to write and not think too much right now. As of right now I am restless, disappointed and a little hurt.... I think I have put too much hope in humans. Hope that I should have placed in God alone. One reason I drove all the way back out here to a cybercafe although I've already gone home after an awesome mamak session with some members of Team Malat, is that I had to clear my mind of the bitterness I am feeling. I went home disappointed not because of the mamak session, but with something really private to disclose. This is something i have been struggling with, which has taken it's toll on my emotions and thoughts. My conscience has prompted me that going home will not solve anything. I had to get out of the house. I had to chew on it, and one way to do it... I had to Blog.
I need to respond to God who is calling me, I have to write it out, and reflect upon it. So here I am now, reminded of the precious devotions from the past two days till just hours ago.
I have spent a lot of quiet time with God the past few days, with God instilling thoughts, rebuking me gently of my priorities, revealing my wayward ways... Showing me how irresponsible I have been in guarding the many talents He has given me, basically revealing to me how I have been living my life UN-wisely. Yet... YET He did not stand afar with disapproving looks but instead, He covers me with his warm precious robe, puts a strong albeit gentle arm around me and tells me, "Weng Hong it is okay. I understand what you are going through. I have seen it, overcome it. Come to Me, let Me take this away from you. Let Me bear it for you. You do not have to worry one bit. Just lay it all upon me. I will teach you. I will comfort you. I will be with you."
Just typing that out, organizing my thoughts and rereading them again and again... my heart has been comforted, put to rest. Thank You God, for knowing how forgetful I am... How easily distracted I am. How fickle and deceitful is the human heart... After so much assurance, so much conviction and here I am having to be reminded of God's faithfulness AGAIN. Thank You for understanding, for being patient, thank You for always interceding and caring. My heart is refreshed, my sorrow surrendered to You.
Sorry people if this didn't make much sense to you. But it made all the difference in the world to me. I might be able to get the internet up and running this week. Have some stuff I really want to post, lest they become vague memories instead of cherished moments. Within the week. Within the week.

(in order of appearance today) Joyce - The food was so so only lerh... , Teng Siong, Shannon, Victor and Simon - MALAT REUNION! It was really awesome seeing you again. Let's meet up again soon! Jun Yan, sorry I had to cancel on dinner... aunt's birthday. I WILL SEE YOU THIS WEEK! Whitney, hope you manage to spend quality time with your family in Singapore. Safe trip back today.

Hock and Carol. We still miss you! and in case we don't mention it enough, here are the miss you's and take care's for everyday till we see you. WE MISS YOU DO TAKE CARE !!! x 60 + 10 give and take.

2 comments:

Tan Yee Wei said...

Old Dog!

I'll get to see you in June. 5 years has been a bit too long...

Chubby Panda said...

are you serious?!?! u coming back in June?!?! for how long and when? I won't be around first 4 days of June... fingers crossed now.... SO PLEASE SAY U'll be back after that. lol. Hey organize a weekend trip for team malat. Yuan Harng said he could most probably take a friday off.