“The Most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.”
- Albert Einstein-

Thursday, July 24, 2008

"blog blank" update 4

Update #4!!! Here are some of the people I have spent time with. People in whose company I can just be myself (an insensitive baboon). Of course there are more of you buddies out there! I just need some pictures! Especially you two: JUN YAN AND WEI JIN! We need some pictures together! sounds so..... -->(three letter word for happy, rhymes with the fifth month of the year)

Jeremy Chan and Chan Ailin.

The FAMOUS Miss Lee (dun say I never put ur pic yeah)

My noisy neighbor Tan Poh Yi and new fren Nikki

Chan Jisan... Forever busy and stressed beeeeee. Relax la!

Chan Hean Lynn!!! My SUPER BUDDY who's gone to Singapore to fly SIA... sigh... can hardly see her now.

It just occurred to me that most of them have 陈 (Chan/Tan) blood! FAMILY FAMILY!

Okay I noticed that I've been doing only updates recently, which are surprisingly taking up more of my time and brain cognition to do. Sigh... regret not blogging these down when the memories were still fresh... when I could easily recall the events, remember conversations, appreciate the people involved... and in so doing further sustaining the memories that will be cherished for years to come. It's not some faulty logic I came across in Philosophy class. Apparently recalling a memory within 24 hours of learning or experiencing it will prolong its existence and increase its accessibility for future recall. Serious! As much as approximately 85% for a long period of time. That's why we're encouraged to read materials before class and/or look through what we've learnt at the end of the day. Study tip from the chubby panda! OKAY! ENOUGH GRANPA TALK...

So yeah I realize that I tend to have moments when I try to recall what happened maybe a month ago and suffer a minor writer's block. I'd literally stare at the screen, stare at the pictures wondering what happened, where to begin, what to write etc.... It's seriously taking up a lot of time! Moreover it's not very productive taking into account the sacrificed time and cognitive efforts I could've used to reflect on more recent events, begin thinking about and blurting about many other things besides MY LIFE'S HAPPENINGS A MONTH AGO. I would really like to shift the focus on other issues... Which has been hard to do lately... Argh!! Do we have a name for that? The "id" syndrome? the "me me me!" syndrome? Maybe SELFISH? <-- This is random but I am recalling Caroline's response to being called selfish:
"No lah where got selfish? Sell Prawns only!"

So this will be my last "blog blank" update... I will start writing about more recent events. Also I will start engaging in much needed mind probing, reflecting and hopefully life changing!


Sunday, July 20, 2008

"blog blank" update 3

June 15th 2008 was pretty memorable for me. Shannon, Yuan Harng and i went to Halo Cafe. It's kinda like a Chinese Stage Performing Cafe. You get to request songs and hear them being performed as u eat and drink. Three of us, 3 close Malats at Halo Cafe on a Sunday night... It's either we're that sad with no other activities, or it's time for some heart to heart talk, or both!

So on that night it started with a chicken chop, a jug of tiger beer and some smoking impersonations of Shannon. Slowly it became relationship talk... GUYS TALK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS TOO!!! We talked about the mentality of today's opposite sex, puzzled with the Million Dollar Question "What women want?" and shared some very personal experiences (obviously all three of us have had very negative ones).... I shared with them something very personal which I won't disclose here... They were pretty shocked and empathized with me! I can testify to that! I remembered victor's jaw dropped and shannon's eyes almost popped out of their sockets! :P Anyways... I'm thankful that I'll always have these two very very close friends to share life's ups and downs with. We agreed that for us, it's not so much counseling or advising... it's just being there, being out with one another, not speaking at all sometimes... but in silence merely feeling and empathizing with one another's troubles and sorrows. "tai kar sam jiu" (we all know in our hearts) Cheers to my buddies! <=== They will surely say YOR!! Weng Hong! So yok mar! hahaha but oh well... Sometimes appreciation should be celebrated! Ohh... after the HALO cafe session, I drove to my dad's cemetery for some midnight grave robbing! lol nah My intention was to go visit dad at his grave. I parked my car... went in like 15 paces... saw a lot of wild dogs and chickened out! Okay ghosts and spirits I'm not afraid of... but wild dogs... erhhh... they bite!! Why would they rest at a graveyard anyways??? hmnn...

"blog blank" update 2

My Family: Daniel's 2nd Birthday!
Standing from left: Rochelle (my maid maid) & my mom
Bottom from left: Rebecca (my sister and mother to Daniel), Daniel & Fook Yin (my Brother in law and Father to Daniel)

Okay one of the big additions to my family!!! This little cute kid's name is Daniel Chan (he saw me wearing shoes and imitated me by putting my other pair of sneakers on! Cuteness!! :>). We just celebrated his 2nd Birthday. So he's not such a new addition to my family. Just that I've been away for about 1.5 years, so I missed 1.5 years of him becoming a 2 year old. I never had any siblings, so it was a very enriching experience during the past 2 months for me: taking care of him, teaching, playing, feeding and just spending time with him. For those of you who didn't already know a little about my family, let me fill you in.

I was the first and only child in my family. My father, Tan Ah Bah (that's his real name. I AM DEAD SERIOUS) passed away when I was 5 years old. I really do appreciate the irony in his name. Tan Ah Bah. Tan "geh" Ah Bah (Tan's father in Cantonese). Anyways, yeah so my family had always included only my mom and I.

Three years later, my mom employed a maid from the Philippines. She was a great blessing and addition to the family. Her name's Rebecca Ramos. She's been with my family ever since 1990. You ever heard of or experience problems with maids? You know... Runaways, stealing, cheating etc.... Rebecca has never given my family that kind of problem. We share the same faith, and in every way, over the years she has been like a sister to me. Three years ago, she married Fook Yin, a Chinese Malaysian and have ever since been residing in my home as part of my family up till today. This cute little boy is their son, and by right should be calling me uncle instead of what my mom's taught him to call me - "Kor kor". My mom wants to be God mother instead of God granny... sigh....

So yeah... part of my almost two months of "blog blank" was well spent learning to be a kor kor (big brother) to a 2 year old cute toddler... Oh I'm so glad I might not be here when he turns into a 6-7 year old brat! lol. Just kidding! Enjoy the pics! He's CUTE right? I think he'll grow up and be quite handsome.


Saturday, July 19, 2008

"blog blank" update 1

Okay enough sorries... This is the first official update... A lot has happened during my "blog blank" is there such a word? haha... sounds nice. ANYWAYS, a lot has happened... I can't possibly update everything... only those with pictures, and yes i understand that photos don't do them enough justice because they are precious memories.... It's just too bad I can only let the photos do the talking for now... I know... "WHO ASKED U NOT TO BLOG THEN!?!" lol ok here are the pics.

Shortly after the May 23rd entry, I went to visit Thailand with some friends from UNL. It was an 8 day (I think) trip. Unfortunately this is the only picture I have from the Thailand trip with me. Long story but I will get the pictures when I return to US. From left are Olivia, akua, pei wen, myself and another akua. FYI, She-he grabbed my hand and put it on her left "CHEST" ok? I didn't do it on purpose...but I thought since it's there so I might as well take the pic! :P oh and if you really dunno what akua is, I wikied it up and it's called Kathoey in Thailand.

Here are some pics from Adeline's birthday, & Chek, Pei Wen and SUPPOSEDLY Ivan's farewell. We went to Poppy's.

The very very controversial photo. Hafiz has started a huge chat about this photo on facebook. Mostly surrounding the "Mysterious green alien", who is actually Adeline's friend Sarah.

From behind left: Hafiz, Chek, Zandra
From front left: Pei Wen, Adeline, Sarah

Left: Ivan and girlfriend Poh Yee. Dun mind the dude next to them I dunno how he got in there.

Right: Chubby Panda, Adeline, Pei Wen

Left: Cute photo of Chek and Pei Wen

Bottom: Pei Wen, Elaine, Chubby Panda, Ivan and Poh Yee

Left: I dunno her name, Elaine, Esther, Zandra

Left: Adeline trying to force Alcohol down her throat.

Okay this is the first update. It's 5:07 am now so I will do the rest later today. I WILL! Sry not much food for thought the past two entries...


ermmm... Hello??

*peep* *hide* *peep* *lifts hand, clicks on mouse* *puts both hands on the ready on the keyboard*, *looks left right front back* *deep breath* *PHEW*

ahhh.... So very paiseh now... but I have to write again SOMETIME right?? :P Okay okay.... I haven't blogged since MAY 23RD! *shy* I know... can't blame it on not having internet because I had it a month ago. I didn't even write a single draft!!! :( "Weng Hong, Weng Hong... no discipline, no determination... tsk tsk tsk".

I really have no idea why I didn't blog... Initially, I was just very occupied(first two weeks with internet) and too pissed off with the internet connection - Maxis Wireless Broadband (sue me!). The signal is ALWAYS weak! It keeps disconnecting, and I need to unlock the dumb sim card via a 3g phone(it's still locked) or it'll ask for an unlock code EVERYTIME I try to connect/reconnect the stupid thing! Which is an average of every 5 minutes if it is bad. It's gotten better lately... but still... URGHHH!!!!

So that was the first two weeks... After that... The idea of blogging hardly ever crossed my mind. Everytime I turn on the computer, I'd either chat, read, facebook, listen to music or watch movies/chinese drama. I had plenty of free time! Too much that I'm sometimes bored! Many times I look at my web browser bookmarks, I see Chubby Panda Chatter... and a pang of remorse hits me. Even so, I would do nothing but click on another website, or close the web browser.

Just some random thoughts now - "Ever had a good thing going? Something you are very happy about, but for some reason you had to stop it for the time being? Could it be that you were physically restrained, financially restrained, or even emotionally restrained? Time passes by, you carry on without that good thing, but when it was possible for you to re-engage in that good thing... You do nothing... You want to resume that good thing... but you've been discouraged, feelings of disappointment flood your cognition and you forget how appealing, how much you enjoyed and benefited from that good thing? Does that happen to someone who's lost his passion? What makes him/her reignite it?" -

Rekindling my thoughts, I think this probably applied to many things I had going in my life and this time, it probably applies to me not blogging, but some of the reasons are too personal to share in this blog... oh well that's for me to ponder and work it out IN PRIVATE. :) What's important is that I finally signed into my blog, and am currently typing my way, DRAFTING a new post on Sunday 3:17am! Woot! Way to wake up schweepy for church! :) For those who've hinted, mentioned, pestered about me not having any entries(you know whom you are!) I thank you for your persistence. I know I've said "okok this week" all too many times. Your NAGGING has helped! I shall start a new post immediately with actual updates other than the current whiny sorry boo hoo full of excuses one. Ohhhhhh AND THIS TIME WITH PICTURES! :) Again Sorry for not posting! I already "cham char Yeng Chor" (Fetch Tea admit sorry) <-- such a literal translation but you get it! For whatever it's worth, it is a really huge cup of tea! :)


Friday, May 23, 2008

Slow to anger

Okay... I'm at the Cybercafe again... this time with Hoo Yau tho. It's currently 1045am. Been here since 9:15am. Played a game of Dota (Defense of the Ancients for the not so virtual gaming savvy). My friends and I have a pretty eventful day planned out. We were to have nasi lemak (all time Malaysian breakfast favorite!) at SS2 for breakfast, head to Pasar Seni (central market) JUST to make the guests(I will introduce them later) feel like tourists in Malaysia, head onto Chow Kit Road for Wan tan mee, luo hon guo long ngan, head towards KLCC for some window shopping before heading up to the bridge connecting the twin towers (MY FIRST TIME TOO!!), spend time at bintang walk, have dinner, then head onto Laundry (the curve) for drinks.

So why am I at the cybercafe on an early Saturday morning with Hoo Yau? It's pretty much my fault. I forgot that in Malaysia, people tend to be fashionably late.

Ever had something on ur mind while you were sleeping that was so profound that it just shakes you awake? I woke up 740am today in that fashion, realizing that I didn't really talk to my mother about borrowing the car for the day. I was initially amazed that I was able to get up without the alarm buzzing since I got home after clubbing with them and slept at 5am. Proud as I was, I quickly wiped that pompous face off as I realized that I didn't have a car, and it was due to my lack of planning!!!

I quickly approached my mother (she goes to the market everyday at 8am)... Taking her car wasn't going to happen... It's a Saturday and she has her own plans. Got a lil frustrated since I just got up, started looking at other alternatives before I finally called my cousin who's borrowing my old car (still mine). Having secured the car, I got ready and went to fetch Hoo Yau all the way from Kepong and got to SS2 by 9am with a sense of relief of not being late and having a car for the day.

We were supposed to meet with Whitney(pj/kl host), Emily(Penang host), Serene(happy go lucky tag alongy), Olivia(American guest) and Woot(Thai guest) for nasi lemak . So yeah, Hoo Yau and I got to SS2, then called the three Malaysians to see if they've arrived...

Many phone calls to the three, a text msg to the pj/kl host, and no answers from anyone led me to suspect that they were all still sleeping. Prolly knocked out from the clubbing session last night.... My mistake, I should've called them earlier to confirm. But still, we agreed on 9am, and it's 11am now! that's 2 hours late (and counting)! Yeah... I wish I didn't have to rush around and had an extra few hours' nap too. Thanks for making me wait! **Shakes fist at Emily, Serene and Whitney** HMPH! Your treat for nasi lemak!

Head's heavy now... Sleepy... Tired... Will I be grumpy, act petty, easily irritate today? I hope not... So this is a reminder to myself...

"Therefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (James 1:19)"

Sorry no pictures lately... no internet at home... so can't post pics from my computer... SOON!!! :)

Monday, May 19, 2008

No Internet!

It has been a week since my last entry... Since Last Monday, when I was stuck at Denver and then Tuesday when I was stuck in LAX... It has been a rather eventful week that I have yet to find time to write and blog about, not to mention a means to post them up as my internet service at home in Malaysia has been cut by my mom who doesn't want to be paying RM60 a month for broadband internet nobody but the Chubby panda uses.
I am currently at a Cybercafe alone, at 1150pm. Just because I am paying for internet, and adding to the fact that I am not really in the mood to type much, I will make this real brief.
I just want to write and not think too much right now. As of right now I am restless, disappointed and a little hurt.... I think I have put too much hope in humans. Hope that I should have placed in God alone. One reason I drove all the way back out here to a cybercafe although I've already gone home after an awesome mamak session with some members of Team Malat, is that I had to clear my mind of the bitterness I am feeling. I went home disappointed not because of the mamak session, but with something really private to disclose. This is something i have been struggling with, which has taken it's toll on my emotions and thoughts. My conscience has prompted me that going home will not solve anything. I had to get out of the house. I had to chew on it, and one way to do it... I had to Blog.
I need to respond to God who is calling me, I have to write it out, and reflect upon it. So here I am now, reminded of the precious devotions from the past two days till just hours ago.
I have spent a lot of quiet time with God the past few days, with God instilling thoughts, rebuking me gently of my priorities, revealing my wayward ways... Showing me how irresponsible I have been in guarding the many talents He has given me, basically revealing to me how I have been living my life UN-wisely. Yet... YET He did not stand afar with disapproving looks but instead, He covers me with his warm precious robe, puts a strong albeit gentle arm around me and tells me, "Weng Hong it is okay. I understand what you are going through. I have seen it, overcome it. Come to Me, let Me take this away from you. Let Me bear it for you. You do not have to worry one bit. Just lay it all upon me. I will teach you. I will comfort you. I will be with you."
Just typing that out, organizing my thoughts and rereading them again and again... my heart has been comforted, put to rest. Thank You God, for knowing how forgetful I am... How easily distracted I am. How fickle and deceitful is the human heart... After so much assurance, so much conviction and here I am having to be reminded of God's faithfulness AGAIN. Thank You for understanding, for being patient, thank You for always interceding and caring. My heart is refreshed, my sorrow surrendered to You.
Sorry people if this didn't make much sense to you. But it made all the difference in the world to me. I might be able to get the internet up and running this week. Have some stuff I really want to post, lest they become vague memories instead of cherished moments. Within the week. Within the week.

(in order of appearance today) Joyce - The food was so so only lerh... , Teng Siong, Shannon, Victor and Simon - MALAT REUNION! It was really awesome seeing you again. Let's meet up again soon! Jun Yan, sorry I had to cancel on dinner... aunt's birthday. I WILL SEE YOU THIS WEEK! Whitney, hope you manage to spend quality time with your family in Singapore. Safe trip back today.

Hock and Carol. We still miss you! and in case we don't mention it enough, here are the miss you's and take care's for everyday till we see you. WE MISS YOU DO TAKE CARE !!! x 60 + 10 give and take.