3:16

"4 years, at the end, there's something missing. No idea what. One month, comfortable. He completes my sentences." - Not the exact words that tore me apart but, kinda....

I am reading the book "3:16, The Numbers of Hope" by Max Lucado. I purchased the book approximately a week back, but never got past the first chapter. Call it chance for those of you who do not believe, but I call it God weaving strings to have put me on Nebraska Highway, prompted me to turn into the Christian bookstore(pretty far from my house), and drew my attention towards the white, plain, hardcover book with the numbers 3:16 on it. The book drew my attention. I turned to the back of the book and it read,

"A twenty-six-word parade of hope: beginning with God, ending with life, and urging us to do the same. Brief enough to write on a napkin or memorize in a moment, yet solid enough to weather two thousand years of storms and questions. If you know nothing of the Bible, start here. If you know everything in the Bible, return here. We all need the reminder: The heart of the human problem is the heart of the human. And God's treatment is prescribed in John 3:16." - Max Lucado, 3:16 The Numbers of Hope.

After reading, I thought that it would be a good book to refresh my faith. Just an offhand thought mind you. It wasn't like I REALLY wanted the book. Nobody but God would've known that the book would bring one of the greatest forms of encouragement to me, a week after the purchase date. God knew I would go through an emotional downfall a week from then, He knew I would break, He knew I needed Him, and His tool to reach me, to comfort me... "3:16 The Numbers of Hope".

Most people who defy and deny God do so more out of fear than conviction. Rejected, Cast away, excluded. We are anxious people and therefore can't see a step into the future, can't hear the one who owns us. No wonder we run away when he tries to feed us, we snap back when he tries to care for us. I see it being true in my own life. Having been disregarded, rejected, cast away so often that I was unconsciously afraid that God might as well. To the hand that tried to reach and feed me, I snapped back at. I clung onto my relationships, my possessions, my OWN ideals (flawed!), my shady reasonings that felt more, more comfortable, yet... empty.

"O love that wilt not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee; I give thee back the life I owe, that in thine ocean depths its flow may richer, fuller be." - George Matheson

Reading again, slowly... John 3:16, the response of George Matheson, and relating myself to his story in the book, I wept. Literally wept. The Locks and chains that have held back my heart just broke, and I felt the intense warmth, the unwavering love in John 3:16.

It really took a big fall, a huge emotional blow for me to be able to appreciate the wonders of what God has done for me. The significance, the AGAPE love that has been displayed, committed by God not because I am awesome and attractive, not because I provide companionship like a puppy, not because I am lovable. On the contrary, I am not lovable. I am bitter and evil. I can not offer anything, but He made it as if I was worth everything, so much so that he chose to love with John 3:16.

"In my incompetence, You chose to love.
Drowned in my self-centeredness, You chose to love.
During my disobedience, You chose to love.
Through times I'm cast away in fear, You chose to love.
When I'm broken, You chose to love,
and you showed me how much you still love,
and will always ALWAYS LOVE."
- weeping Chubby Panda